Reading the Books Years 1 - 7
by kolbster42
Summary: El Sapo wants to prove the Harry Potter is a liar, and she receives 7 books based on Harry Potter's life. This is a Stewie Griffin is Harry Potter reincarnated story.
1. Chapter 1

**(Author's Note: I do not own Family Guy, or J.K. Rowling or any other tv refrences in this reading the books series. Also I will be calling Harry Potter, Stewie Griffin in the entire 7 fanfictions. Also I will be calling Harry Potter, Stewie Griffin. If you have any suggestion please comment and I will add or adjust the fanficiton accordingly.)**

Text

**"Bold"** **- text from book**

**"**_**Bold Italics" -**_ _**stuff that I insterted into the book**_

Regular - the fanfiction itself

Delores Umbridge was walking through the 7th floor and was thinking of ways to prove that Harry Potter was a liar. When a door appeared she opened it and saw that inside was a pile of books. She lifted up the first book and it said _Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone_. Umbridge cackled evilly and went to her office and owled Fudge, Amelia Bones, and Rita Skeeter. But, unkonwn to her Albus Dumbledore recieved a note stating that 7 books would be read about the truth behind Harry Potter. He instantly sent out letters as well to Moody, Tonks, The Weasleys, Remus and Sirius.

_Dinner in the Great Hall_

Everyone was just finishing dinner when, the Minister of Magic, Madam Bones, and Rita Skeeter walked in. What was worrying was that Umbridge or should I say Umbitch was wearing a huge grin. "Attention students I have in my possesion, books that will reveal the lies of one Harry Potter." Harry Potter aka Stewie Griffin reincarnated, widened his eyes in horror, so did Hermione and Ron.

"Oh, No!" yelled Stewie."  
"Oh, No!" yelled Hermione"

"Oh, No!" yelled Ron"  
Then the doors smashed open and in came the Kool-Aid Man and he said, "Oh, Yeah!"

Many purebloods were confused, so were some of the Half-bloods. But, the ones who did recognize stifiled a snort and a few actually snickered. The Kool-Aid Man walked out slowly backwards after that. After that randomness, Moody, Tonks, The Weasleys, Remus and Sirius desquised as Snuffles walked in. Stewie hugged Mrs. Wealsey, shook Mr. Weasley's hand, hugged Remus as well and patted Snuffles on the head.

"Hem, Hem, I will start, **Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone**, **Chapter 1 - The Boy- Who-Lived.**"

"I wonder who that is Gred,"  
"I don't know Forge,"  
Stewie interviened and snapped, "I know who that is, and his name is, shut the hell up!"

Mrs. Weasley and Hermione both yelled, "Harry James Potter!" Stewie just looked at them and shrugged, but he said to Hermione, "I am sorry Hermione that was wrong of me," Hermione looked at him in surpise and said, "You are forgiven," Stewie looked at Fred and George he lied and said, "I am sorry Fred and George that was rude of me," They just shrugged it was okay with them."

**"Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much."**

"You're not welcome," Stewie Snapped.

Fred and George wiped away fake tears and said, "We are so proud,"

**"They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense."**

Many people glared at the books since they figured they were insulting witches and wizards.

**"Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called **_**Pawtucket's Brewery, which made booze**_**."**

A random pureblood asks, "What's booze?" Stewie simply says, "It is like Firewisky," That made the purebloods and some of the half-bloods nod in understanding. Which makes Mrs. Weasley yell with her eyes flashing in fury, "Harry James Potter! Have you been drinking Firewisky!" Stewie yells right back at her, "Yes, I've been drinking booze since I was a baby! So there is nothing you can do about it so, ha!" Mrs. Weasley was just about to make another retort, when Mr. Weasley put a calming hand on her shoulder to make her calm down. Also many people looked at Stewie weirdly including Serverus Snape, then Umbridge continued reading.

**"He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache. "**

Lee said sarcastically, "Lovely," A few people snickered.

**"Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors."**

"_Same old Tuney_," thought Snape and Stewie.

**"The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere."**

Stewie and the twins snorted.

**"The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters."**

"What's wrong with the Potters" yelled out many adults and a few of Stewie's friends. Snape was thinking, _"Everything,"_

**"****Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, but they haven't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as UnDursleyish as it was possible to be."**

Hermione, Remus and several Ravenclaws muttered, "That isn't even a word."

**"The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that."**

"A child like what, " several people yelled.

Stewie answered in an annoyed tone, "A bloody wizard what do you think? That they were talking about a child cross-dresser."

Minerva snapped, "10 points from Griffindor,"

Stewie just shrugged he didn't care because soon the truth would come out and they would be hearing a lot worse.

The people who yelled that glared at him. But some people laughed out loud.

**When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country."**

"CONSTANT VILLAGANCE!" yelled Moody, and that made almost everyone jump since people have forgotten he was there.

**"Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work, and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair."**

Many people were thinking brat.

**"None of them noticed a large, tawny owl **_**fly straight into the**_** window ."**

"CONSTANT VIL-" started Moody, but Tonks _(I'm not calling her Nympharoda because I don't want her to yell at me even though her reaction is always funny) _interupted him and said, " Villagance, yes, yes we get it Moody," causing Moody to glare at her slightly.

The animal lovers winced in sympathy. While Luna commented, "I think the Wrackspurts got it,"

**"At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek, and tried to kiss Dudley good-bye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls."**

Brat thought the same people again.

**"Little tyke," **_**slurred **_**Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number four's drive **_**running over several mailboxes and street signs**_**."**

"He's drunk and he's going to work driving what an idiot!" shouted somebody over in the Hufflepuff section along with other people in other houses. McGongall was glaring at the headmaster as if saying, it is your fault.

Molly Weasley screached along with the female proffesors, "He encourages that behavior!" While the student population were thinking what an idiot.

**"It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar - a cat reading a map."**

A random student said, "A galleon it's Proffesor McGonagall" Some students took that bet including Fred, George and Stewie.

**"For a second, Mr. Dursley didn't realize what he had seen - then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a **_**hallucination**_**. Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back. As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive - no, looking at the sign; cats couldn't read maps or signs."**

Fred said to his twin, "We now know Minnie's weakness, she can read maps or signs," George snorted.

Minerva snapped, "Weasleys, 20 points form Gryffindor," Mrs. Weasley looked like she agreed with Minerva.

**"Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town, **_**knocking into buildings and running over people as **_**he thought of nothing except a large order of **_**booze**_** he was hoping to get that day."**

One track mind thought many students and what a drunk, and hope he gets arrested.

**"But on the edge of town, **_**booze**_** was driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks. Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes - the getups you saw on young people! He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. "**

People were yelling out things like,

"Cloaks aren't stupid,"

"You're stupid,"

"You're all idiotic morons who doesnt' get anything!" shouted somebody random and that shut everyone up, and made everyone look to see who was shouted that comment.

**"He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by. They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak! The nerve of him! But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt - these people were obviously collecting for something... yes, that would be it. The traffic moved on and a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the **_**Brewery's**_** parking lot, his mind back on **_**booze and his car all in one piece for some reason**_**."**

Hermione shouted, "That is impossible, that car would have beeen completley destroyed," then she asked Stewie, "How can you stand that man, " Stewie answered, "Simple I ignore him, and he occasionaly goes away," Hermione narrowed her eyes at him, "What do you mean occasionally?" Stewie ignored her and then Umbridge continued getting furious with all the constant interuptions.

**Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. If he hadn't, he might have found it harder to concentrate on **_**even more booze**_** that morning. He didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight **_**and for some reason he didn't see the owls smacking into his office window leaving blood stains on it**_**, though people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open-mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead. Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime.**

Luna said, "Poor owl," The animal lovers agreed with her.

"Really, why," asked a first-year Slytherin. Hermione answered, "Owls are usually Nocuturnal creatures, so they just sleep through the day and are active at night."

**Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more **_**and watched the latest episode of Sex in the City on the computer**_**. **

Ron asked Hermione, "What's Sex in the City?" A few other Gryffindors turned to hear the answer. Stewie was stiffiling his laughter because he loved that show. Hermione just said,"It is about diferent womens sex lives," Ron turned bright red at that and Stewie burst out laughing at Ron's reaction. Hermione glared at him.

**He was in a very good mood until lunchtime, when he thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a **_**donut**_** from **_**Lard Lads Donuts**_**.**

Mmm Donuts thought Crabbe and Goyle.

**He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn't know why, but they made him **_**sick to his stomach**_**. This bunch were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, **_**clutching a large dounut in a bag**_**, that he caught a few words of what they were saying.**

**"The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard-"**

**"- yes, their son, Harry-"**

Students and teachers bowed their heads in rememberance of that day except Umbridge.

**Mr. Dursley stopped dead.**

Stewie yells, "Yes, the fatman is finally dead, victory is mine." People were looking at him strangely, Draco Malfoy looked like he was going to agree with him but decided not to say anything.

**Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something **_**rude **_**to them, but thought better of it.**

**He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, snapped at his **_**boss**_** not to disturb him **_**his boss told him if he did that again he would be fired**_**, **_**then he**_** seized his telephone, and had almost finished dialing his home number when he changed his mind. He put the receiver back down and stroked his mustache, thinking... no, he was being stupid. Potter wasn't such an unusual name. He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure his nephew was called Harry. **

Fred and George said, "Harvey Potter, and Harold Potter, that doesn't have a nice ring to it," Stewie looked one second away from desinigrating them but thought not to. Hermione hit both of them in the back of the head.

**He'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold. There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley; she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didn't blame her - if he'd had a sister like that... but all the same, those **_**crazy**_** people in cloaks...**

People were yelling that they were not crazy.

**He found it a lot harder to concentrate on **_**booze**_** that afternoon and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door.**

**"Sorry," he grunted, as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell.**

Stewie yelled out in suprise, "He knows that word!"

**It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak. He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passersby stare, "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!"**

**And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off.**

Ron yelled shocked, "He fit," Mrs. Weasley scolded, "Ronald,"

**Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, **_**it must have meant someone that has been mugged all the time so he thought**_**.**

People snorted what an idiot.

**He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off for home **_**and for the first time that night he didn't run into anything**_**, **_**and**_** hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination.**

Fred and George fainted in shock, people were laughing in amusement.

**As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw - and it didn't improve his mood - was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings around its eyes.**

**"Shoo!" said Mr. Dursley loudly.**

**The cat didn't move. It just gave him a stern look. **

Fred said to his brother, "5 galleons it's Minnie," George said, "You're on," McGonagall snapped, "Weasleys, don't call me that!"

**Was this normal cat behavior? Mr. Dursley wondered. Trying to pull himself together, he let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife.**

**Mrs. Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learned a new word ("Won't!"). **

Madam Pomphrey said, "What a horrible child,"

**Mr. Dursley tried to act normally **_**and pretending he was interested in what she was saying because he was still thinking about what those strangers had said**_**. When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living room in time to catch the last report on the evening news **_**on Channel 5**_**:**

**"**_**Good Evening I'm Tom Tucker," said the newsman known as Tom. "And I'm Diane Simmons," said the womand known as Diane. "The top story tonight owls have been flying every direction since sunrise," said Tom. "That's right Tom, showers of owls have been spotted everywhere, lets go to Ollie William for a report, Ollie," said Diane," The tv now show Ollie in the background with owls flying over him and he says loudly and quickly, "It's a shooting star," Back to our regularly scheduled brodcast, "Thanks Ollie, but Bonfire Night won't be til next week, Later tonight, we will show Diane at a strip bar," **_

The muggleborns and some of the half-bloods laughed out loud at the mention of a strip bar. The people who didn't know what it was asked their nearest neighbor. Then they started laughing or turned bright red.

**Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters...**

Ron shouted out along with several Weasleys, "What's wrong with the Potters," While Snape, Umbridge and Draco were thinking everything.

**Mrs. Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously. "Er - Petunia, dear - you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?"**

**As he had expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister **_**that was a freak**_**.**

Snape unexpectedly shouted out,"Lily was not a freak!" Stewie looked at him strangely did he know my adopted birth mother. Other people besides some of the professors looked at him strangely.

**"No," she said sharply. "Why?"**

**"Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls... shooting stars... and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today..."**

**"So?" snapped Mrs. Dursley.**

**"Well, I just thought... maybe... it was something to do with... you know... her crowd."**

**Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter." He decided he didn't dare. Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son - he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?"**

**"I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.**

**"What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?"**

**"Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me."**

Ginny with a blinding smile toward Harry said,"I think Harry is a wonderful name," Stewie backed away slightly from the crazy girl and gave her a slight hesitant smile.

**"Oh, yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree."**

**He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed. While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom **_**waiting for his wife so they could do it since their son was asleep, and while he was waiting for his wife he looked**_** down into the front garden.**

A few people turned green at the thought.

**The cat was still there. It was staring down Privet Drive as though it were waiting for something.**

**Was he imagining things? Could all this have anything to do with the Potters? If it did... if it got out that they were related to a pair of - well, he didn't think he could bear it.**

**The Dursleys got into bed **_**and had sex**_**. Mrs. Dursley fell asleep quickly **_**after their session**_** but Mr. Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. **

A couple of first years threw up. Then Madam Pophrey had to give them a Stomach Strengthing Solution.

**His last, comforting thought before he fell asleep was that even if the Potters were involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs. Dursley. The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind... He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on - he yawned and turned over - it couldn't affect them...**

**How very wrong he was.**

"Yes how very wrong indeed." said Stewie. A couple of people laughed.

**Mr. Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness. It was sitting as still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed on the next street, nor when two owls swooped overhead. In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all.**

**A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground. The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed.**

**Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice. This man's name was Albus Dumbledore.**

Everyone cheered except the obvious.

**Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome. He was busy rummaging in his cloak, looking for something. But he did seem to realize he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known."**

"Known what proffesor," said a random first year. Dumbledore just chuckled in responce.

**He found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter. He flicked it open, held it up in the air, and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a little pop. He clicked it again - the next lamp flickered into darkness. Twelve times he clicked the **_**Deluminator**_**, until the only lights left on the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even beady-eyed Mrs. Dursley, they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement. Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off down the street toward number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it.**

**"Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall."**

**He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone. Instead he was smiling at a rather severe-looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one. Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled.**

**"How did you know it was me?" she asked.**

**"My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly."**

**"You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day," said Professor McGonagall.**

**"All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have **_**stopped by**_** a dozen feasts and parties on my way here."**

**Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.**

**"Oh yes, I've celebrating, all right," she said impatiently. "You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no - even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news." She jerked her head back at the Dursleys' dark living-room window. "I heard it. Flocks of owls... shooting stars... Well, they're not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent - I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense."**

**"You can't blame them," said Dumbledore gently. "We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years."**

The teachers bowed their heads a little.

**"I know that," said Professor McGonagall irritably. "But that's no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumors."**

**She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on. "A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?"**

**"It certainly seems so," said Dumbledore. "We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a **_**Everlasting Gobstopper**_**?"**

"A what?" asked many purebloods.

**"A what?"**

**"A**_**n Everlasting Gobstopper**_**. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of."**

"Oh," said the same students.

**"No, thank you," said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for **_**an Everlasting Gobstopper**_**.**

"It wasn't," snapped Minerva.

**"As I say, even if You-Know-Who has gone-"**

**"My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name? All this 'You-Know-Who' nonsense - for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: Voldemort." Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemon drops, seemed not to notice. "It all gets so confusing if we keep saying 'You-Know-Who.' I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name."**

**"I know you haven't, said Professor McGonagall, sounding half exasperated, half admiring. "But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know- oh, all right, Voldemort, was frightened of."**

**"You flatter me," said Dumbledore calmly. "Voldemort had powers I will never have."**

"Only because you're too noble to use them," said Hermione.

**"Only because you're too - well - noble to use them."**

"Hermione thinks like Minnie," said the Twins and Ron. Hermione blushed slightly.

**"It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs."**

**Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said "The owls are nothing next to the rumors that are flying around. You know what they're saying? About why he's disappeared? About what finally stopped him?"**

**It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold, hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now. It was plain that whatever "everyone" was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true. Dumbledore, however, was choosing another **_**Everlasting Gobstopper **_**and did not answer.**

**"What they're saying," she pressed on, "is that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow. He went to find the Potters. The rumor is that Lily and James Potter are - are - that they're - dead."**

**Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped.**

**"Lily and James... I can't believe it... I didn't want to believe it... Oh, Albus..."**

**Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "I know... I know... " he said heavily.**

**Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on. "That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potter's son, Harry. But he couldn't. He couldn't kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke - and that's why he's gone."**

**Dumbledore nodded glumly.**

**"It's - it's true ?" faltered Professor McGonagall. "After all he's done... all the people he's killed... he couldn't kill a little boy? It's just astounding... of all the things to stop him... but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?"**

**"We can only guess," said Dumbledore. "We may never know."**

**Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles. Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it. It was a very odd watch. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge. It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?"**

**"Yes," said Professor McGonagall. "And I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you're here, of all places?"**

**"I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now."**

**"You don't mean - you can't mean the people who live here ?" cried Professor McGonagall, jumping to her feet and pointing at number four. "Dumbledore - you can't. I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son - I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets. Harry Potter come and live here!"**

**"It's the best place for him," said Dumbledore firmly. "His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter."**

**"A letter?" repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall. "Really, Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter? These people will never understand him! He'll be famous - a legend - I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in the future - there will be books written about Harry - every child in our world will know his name!"**

**"Exactly." said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses. "It would be enough to turn any boy's head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! Can you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?"**

**Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, **_**thought about it and**_** changed her mind, swallowed, and then said, "Yes - yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?" She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it **_**shuddering slightly at the thought**_**.**

**"Hagrid's bringing him."**

**"You think it - wise - to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?" **_**sighing mentally in relief.**_

**"I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore.**

**"I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place," said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to - what was that?"**

**A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky - and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.**

**If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so wild - long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of trash can lids, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets.**

**"Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"**

**"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I've got him, sir."**

**"No problems, were there?"**

**"No, sir - house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol."**

**Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.**

**"Is that where - ?" whispered Professor McGonagall.**

**"Yes," said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever."**

**"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"**

**"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground. Well - give him here, Hagrid - we'd better get this over with."**

**Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned toward the Dursleys' house.**

**"Could I - could I say good-bye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.**

**"Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall, "You'll wake the Muggles!"**

**"S-s-sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large, spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it - Lily an' James dead - an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles-"**

**"Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found," Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets, and then came back to the other two. For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling light that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.**

**"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations."**

**"Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I'll be takin' Sirius his bike back. G'night, Professor McGonagall - Professor Dumbledore, sir."**

**Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night.**

**"I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall," said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.**

**Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver **_**Deluminator**_**. He clicked it once, and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four.**

**"Good luck, Harry," he murmured. He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak, he was gone.**

**A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets without waking up. One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley... He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: "To Harry Potter - the boy who lived!" **

People started yelling at Dumbledore for leaving him on the doorstep. But he didn't say anything so he picked up the book and said, " I will read next, **The Vanishing Glass**,"

Stewie paled for a moment.

Vote for Ron Pairings:

Ron/Luna

Ron/Susan

Ron/Neville

Ron/Daphne

Vote for Ginny Pairings

Ginny/Dean

Ginny/Seamus

Ginny/Neville

Ginny/Collin

**Quick Question: Should Stewie Griffin succeed in taking over the world or should he fail like he always does? Also should Stewie's half-brother Bertram become the new dark lord after Voldemort is defeated?**


	2. Chapter 2 - Part 1

**Vanishing Glass Part 1 – Next part will be next month, sorry for the long wait.**

_**The updates will be at least Once or Twice a month now that I got my muse back.**_

**(Author's Note: I do not own Family Guy, or J.K. Rowling or any other TV references in this reading the books series. Also I will be calling Harry Potter, Stewie Griffin in the entire 7 fanfictions. Also I will be calling Harry Potter, Stewie Griffin. If you have any suggestion please comment and I will add or adjust the fanficiton accordingly.)**

Text

**"Bold"** **- text from book**

**"**_**Bold Italics" -**_ _**stuff that I insterted into the book**_

Regular - the fanfiction itself

_People started yelling at Dumbledore for leaving him on the doorstep. But he didn't say anything so he picked up the book and said, " I will read next, __**The Vanishing Glass**__,"_

_Stewie paled for a moment._

**Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their **_**freak of a**_** nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all. **

"Really, our house changes all the time," said Ginny, All the Weasley's nodded in agreement. Stewie just shrugged and said, "That's Petunia for you, she hates change."

**The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls. Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed. **

Snape sneered and thought, "Great, now I have to hear how spoiled and arrogant he is at home."

**Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets — but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blond boy **_**looking more like a walrus than a boy,**_** riding his first bicycle, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. **

Snape raised his eyebrow and thought, "No pictures of the pampered prat." Everybody laughed at the mention of the pictures, but was wondering why there were no pictures of the boy-who-lived.

**The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too.**

**Yet **_**Stewie Griffin who was now Harry Potter **_**was still there, **_**rebuilding his Time Machine**_**, **

There were many shouts of disbelief going on throughout the hall. Albus Dumbledore shot out some very large bangs out of his wand for silence. "Mr. Potter, or should I say Mr. Griffin what is it talking about."

Stewie Griffin sighed and explained everything from his birth in the Family Guy Universe to being killed by his half-brother Bertram at his 35th birthday. (Try to use your imagination for the missing years in the Family Guyverse) After his explanation there was a lot of shouting and many of them saying liar and thief and bring back our Harry Potter. Stewie didn't say anything but, motioned back to the book but before Dumbledore could continue the chapter, Hermione asked, "Stewie how did you invent a time machine, the only Time Machine I know of is from _H. G. Well's; Time Machine_." Stewie just laughed but didn't say anything which infuriated Hermione further.

**but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day.**

"**Up! Get up! Now!"**

Snape cringed in sympathy; no one should wake up to that voice. Ron said sarcastically, "What a lovely way to wake up." After getting over the shock of his best friend being an evil genius, he still in shock but not as much as before.

_**Stewie dropped his tools in annoyance and scowled at the door cursing his oh so loving aunt and thinking of ways to murder her**_**.**_** Even though his attempts always failed. **_**His aunt rapped on the door again.**

Some of the students egged away from him slightly. While Malfoy yelled out, "Way to go Potter kill Petunia!" Many people including Snape looked at him weirdly. Then Blaise asked him, "Who are you and what have you done with Malfoy?" He responded so seriously that no one doubted him. "I have him locked up in the dungeon hanging by his fingernails." Then he started laughing out loud and people sighed in relief that he wasn't joking but would watch him further for more strange outbursts.

"**Up!" she screeched.**_** Stewie**_** heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove. He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a **_**weird **_**one. There had been a flying motorcycle in it. He had a funny feeling **_**that it wasn't a dream. **_**His aunt was back outside the door.**

"**Are you up yet?" she demanded.**

"**Nearly ," said **_**Stewie**_**.**

"**Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday."**

Mrs. Weasley screeched, "They made you cook," Stewie timidly nodded, even though he was an evil genius he was somewhat scared of Mrs. Weasley. Many of the Weasley's and Hermione were fuming.

Mrs. Weasley still fuming asked, "Since, when," Stewie responded as calmly as he could without snapping, "Since I was 4," That started many people yelling including McGonagall. It took 5 minutes for them to calm down before they could continue.

_**Stewie snapped, "Fine, I will make sure the bacon burns to a crisp, and wish that Dudder's chokes on it."**_

Fred and George started laughing, and started chanting, "Choke, choke choke…." Soon Ron and Ginny joined in as well. They went on for 15 minutes before Mrs. Weasley and McGonagall snapped "Weasleys!" in unison." Mrs. Weasley glared at all them and Stewie was silently laughing at them.

"**What did you say?" his aunt snapped through the door.**

"**Nothing, nothing **_**you vile despicable woman**_**…"**

**Dudley's birthday — how could he have forgotten? Harry got slowly out of **_**the Time Machine that he has been working on for the last 9 years **_**and started looking for socks.**

Hermione and many Muggle-borns and some Half-bloods choked 9 years he has been working on it.

**He found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider off one of them,**

Ron flinched.

**put them on. Harry was used to spiders, **

Ron flinched again.

**because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and**

**that was where he slept **_**and worked on his inventions**_**.**

Insert yelling and screaming, and yes that includes Snape as well as soon as he get over his shock.

**When he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. The table was almost hidden beneath all Dudley's birthday present. It looked as though Dudley had gotten the new computer he wanted, not to mention the second television and the racing bike.**

Arthur wrote down all this stuff, and Mrs. Weasley shook her head fondly at her husband.

**Exactly why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to **_**Stewie**_** as **_**Dudders**_** was very fat and hated exercise **_**just like the other fatman his birth father Peter Griffin and the fatman Vernon**_** — unless of course it involved punching somebody. **

Dean said, "That better not mean you,"

**Dudley's favorite puncing bag was **_**Stewie **_

Insert growling.

**but he couldn't often catch him. **_**Stewie**_** didn't look it, but he was very fast.**

All his friends and Quiditch fans nodded Stewie Griffin was very fast.

**Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard **_**he didn't think so it was probably in his genes**_**, but **_**Stewie **_**had always been small and skinny for his age. He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley's, and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was. **_**Stewie**_** had a thin face, knobbly knees, **

Remus said, "James,"

**black hair,**

"James,"

**and bright green eyes.**

Snape said, "Lily," surprising most people.

**He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times **_**Dudders**_** had punched him on the nose. The only thing **_**Stewie**_** liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning.**

Neville asked, "You liked your scar," he said surprised. Stewie responded, "that was before I knew how I got it." People nodded agreeing with that response. Snape and Umbridge didn't believe him because he was still a lying arrogant brat even though he didn't live in the life of luxury.

**He had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had gotten it.**

"**In the car crash when your parents died," she had said. "And don't ask questions."**

People shouted, "they lied to you , " While the Ravenclaws shouted scandalized, "How can you not ask questions,"

**Don't ask questions — that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys **_**of course he just did the opposite.**_

Good thought everyone.

**Uncle Vernon **_**aka the fatman**_** entered the kitchen as **_**Stewie **_**was turning over the bacon **_**making sure it was burnt on both sides just to see the fatman's reaction.**_

People laughed at the fatman comment and looked at Stewie weirdly at the burnt part, but were slowly starting to understand the Stewie Griffin was insane.

"**Comb your hair!" he barked, by way of a morning greeting.**

**About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his newspaper and shouted that **_**Stewie **_**needed a haircut. **_**Stewie**_** must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way — all over the place.**

Remus said, "Potter curse." Stewie looked at his former professor curiously and asked, "Potter Curse," Remus nodded and said, "All Potter's will have untamable hair, be short until 6th year, and fall in love with a redhead." Stewie hummed slightly in thought.

_**Stewie**_** was frying **_**the burnt**_** eggs by the time**_** his fat oaf of a cousin**_** arrived in the kitchen with his mother. Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel — **_**Stewie **_**often said that Dudley looked like a pig **_**in a wig on different types of steroids**_**.**

Insert laughing.

**Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was difficult as there wasn't much room. Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. His face fell.**

Ron sneered and said, "What didn't get your 36 presents you wanted,"

"**Thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father. "That's two less than last year."**

Ron blinked and said, "I was just kidding," While at the same time Malfoy said, "Even I don't get that many presents."

"**Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's here under this big one from Mummy and Daddy."**

People were laughing because a 10 year old was still calling their parents Mummy and Daddy. **(**_**I don't know if some kids still do that at 10 years old so just role with it.**_**)**

"**All right, thirty-seven then," said Dudley, going red in the face. Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.**

**Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, "And we'll buy you another two presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin? Two more presents. Is that all right"**

**Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work. Finally he said slowly, "So I'll have thirty… thirty…"**

Hermione said in disbelief, "The fat lard can't even coun't," Mrs. Wealsey was scolding Hermione on her language while Stewie looked at his crush since first year in awe. While Fred and George congratulated, Hermione on calling him that.

"**Thirty-nine **_**you fat tub of lard**_**," **_**snapped**__**Stewie as he mentally rolled his eyes at his fat idiot cousin.**_

"_**Shut up freak**_**." **_**snapped **_**Dudley sat down heavily and grabbed the nearest parcel. "All right then."**

_**The fatman**_** chuckled **_**after glaring at his freak of a nephew**_**.**

"**Little tyke wants his money's worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!" He ruffled Dudley's hair.**

Sprout shouted, "He encourages that behavior!" Stewie nodded seriously, and said, "Yes, his Duddykins can do no wrong." People laughed while Mrs. Wealsy reprimanded him on mocking his Uncle even though she thought he deserves it.

**At that moment the telephone rang and Petunia went to answer it while **_**Stewie **_**and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a VCR. He was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch when Aunt Petunia came back from the telephone looking both angry and worried.**

"**Bad news, Vernon," she said, "**_**Herbert**_**'s **_**is**__**in the hospital**_**. He can't take him." She jerked her head in Harry's direction.**

**Dudley's mouth fell open in horror, but **_**Stewie**_**'s heart gave a leap. Every year on Dudley's birthday, his parents took him and **_**one of Dudley's **_**friends out for the day, to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the movies. Every year, **_**Stewie**_** was left behind with Mr.**_**Herbert**_** a **_**perverted**_** ol**_**d man **_**who lived two streets away. **_**Stewie **_**hated it there. The whole house smelled of cabbage and **_**Mr. Herbert **_**made him look at photographs of all the **_**little boys he ever molested.**_

Many people got sick in the stomach hearing about that and a few people threw up. While the Order looked at Albus in disbelief because he has a Pervert watching him and anything, and I mean anything could happen in that house.

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